Tag: mental health

The Next Life Chapter: No Pain No Game

Shutting a door with a bang and opening a new one going into 40.

I was embarking on a monumental life chapter on paper. A confluence of factors had me push myself on my New Year’s Resolution going into my turn going “over the hill.” I set out to step up and make it a transformative turn and it sure proved itself as the most difficult, challenging stretch of my life.

Immediately after the Cuba trip in mid-June, I tore the achilles lunging playing pickleball for the first time. It felt like a weight dropped on the back of my leg and I immediately felt a pop, yelled and looked around for someone that kicked me. I’m lucky it didn’t happen before the trip as it well could’ve. Sad moment for a proud athlete who prides himself in skiing 50+ days a year and never getting a real injury to date.

After limping around doing yard work hoping it was maybe a high ankle sprain, icing and sleeping on it hoping the issue would subside, I was proven wrong: this turns into a key metaphor for life and the moment. I woke up, the swelling moved down my league and bruising of the “cankle” was significant. A little Googling had me worried for the worst – a torn achilles. Urgent care got me a quick MRI that I ultimately didn’t need, but it showed a clear rupture. Because I got in early to my doctor, I got the option to not do surgery and just do physical therapy. Doing the research (re-injury rate is 3x less via surgery ) and my father-in-law felt like his ankle came back stronger after surgery and I flipped.

A friend recommended the new “speed bridge” surgery that Aaron Rodgers famously came back from, but that wasn’t readily available locally. I (half) jokingly had my screened and validated OSU grad doctor mark the correct leg to operate on to avoid the accidental procedure on the wrong leg. Luckily the surgery went well, I was wheeled home and fighting the pains trying to minimize the opioids for recovery as much as possible. In short, I’m very thankful for all the help from my father in law Peter, who pushed me to stay on regiment to the exact rep, not put weight on it and helped with chores. I can thank U of Utah’s Dr. Dave Carter (PhD. in achilles recovery), who Peter swore by, Peter and my wife for the support. I hit a flooring low point hope-wise early on knowing my summer and fall were shot, but I was focused on skiing come winter and I sucked it up, worked hard on my PT, hit the weight room hard to build the strength (and then some) and somehow in just under 6 months, worked my way back on the mountain and wrapped up a ski season skiing 54 days and nearly 800k vertical feet. To date, it’s no Rodgers story of non-field heroics, but I’ve just passed a year since surgery (about the date you can said to be recovered) and I’ve had no setbacks aside from sporting a purple, scarred bulge and the humbling life moment escapade that came with it.

A lot of mental work also brought me to forcing myself to step up, realize my needs and what I believe in and take a stand instead of quietly taking the easy way out. Just like hobbling on a leg I knew in my gut was shot and possibly extending the damage and thinking I could “sleep it off,” I had a tendency to internalize. What do I believe in? What breaks the code?

I needed to learn a key lesson when it comes to self-actualization and speak up for what and whom I believe in. Over the course of the year, I transparently called out my closest friends, family and coworkers. I stated my piece instead of allowing the status quo or playing both sides and it led to a ton of pain, heartache and feeling alone with a number of my closest relationships feeling very much in limbo.

I forced myself to start instituting and enforcing boundaries. I’ve realized that you can only control yourself and that people won’t change unless they are open to it. This is a work in progress. The truth is that many of those relationships will never be the same, people come and go and show their true colors. ‘Tis life – stay true.

The world has drastically changed dramatically politically, economically and socially. Many are feeling hopeless and forgotten and it’s easy to get sucked into deep despair following the news: I sure did. It’s ok to not be ok, just know what outlets are available.

While/when it may seem hopeless on a macro scale, it’s okay to tune out and focus on the micro. I just read “Go-Giver” and “Infinite Game” in my summer hammock. I’m a firm believer that karma is real, providing “glimmer” moments – small periods of joy and striving to find ways to give back can help lift spirits. Those can include dropping messages of goodwill, making random people laugh, compliments, gifts, giving time or feedback (transparent) pay dividends in “life purpose equity.”

Give and live! Take stock in what you have with gratitude and not the social comparisons – what a decade and chapter. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

You may feel ripped to shreds and alone in the world, but work the process and come out of it a new person; epic comeback story in the making.

Global Reckoning Period – Adapt or Die

Speaking of stalled aspirational progress, as we are all now acutely aware of, the global economy hit a screeching halt by way of a COVID-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic.

Ramifications and the related coverable topics are endless.

A globalized reckoning, which was anticipated to happen at some point by the experts, caught us all on our heels and we couldn’t react quickly enough to put it to bed before massive loss of lives and economic progress resulted.

What are we learning in the process?

  • Leadership and the ability to listen, emphasize and unite matters more than ever – without it, everything can unfold.
  • Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.  The true heroes pulling us out of this mess are the service workers on the front-lines putting lives on the line to save their brethren (nurses, doctors, EMTs, social services, teachers, grocery store and “essential business” workers).  These folks deserve every accolade, perk and quality of live improvement possible.
  • Globalization Revisited – it doesn’t matter if your GDP is greatest in the world if you can’t stock or make the basics to save your people (ie. PPE’s like aprons, masks, gloves, etc.)
  • We need to focus on the industries, tactics, practices and strategies proven to sustainably benefit the masses.   Sometimes it’s time to stick in that fork and move on vs. continuing the life support.

Personally and professionally, we are all at a crossroads.  Adapt or die (figuratively and literally so, sadly).

It’s a group exercise, too.  One outlier can derail the recovery progress for the masses.  We are all ready for the economy to return to normal – your non-distanced protests only hurt our chances to get there.

How we prepare today will impact tomorrow.  It is well worth the extra few weeks of staying at home to not set ourselves back months more.

If all you have to give is goodwill and positive thoughts, pay it forward, spread it (especially while staying at home!) and the returns will multiply and help get us all back on our feet.

Lessons in Rejection

Screen Shot 2017-08-29 at 3.12.59 PM.png

The Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Red Wings, Baltimore Orioles, Sporting Kansas City, Indiana Pacers, New Orleans Saints & Pelicans (among others pictured above): what do these represent?  All, the latest and greatest clients of Sponsorship Buddy Inc.  I, as the lead hunter, should be out celebrating in the streets to land these huge, globally embraced and recognized team brands as clients of our disruptive new platform, right? Not so fast, my friend.

Early entrepreneurial life is not glamorous (nor is the sports industry).  Over the past 20 months, I’ve had to learn all kinds of new skills, competencies, and levels of resiliency and discipline.  I set out with a goal of transforming the sponsorship industry in much-needed fashion for the better to help create more transparency, streamlined communications, a better client experience and improvements in quality of life.   In doing so, I hoped to make my mark as an innovator, disruptor, and difference-maker and put it all on the line to do so (personal life, relationships, financial stability).

Full disclosure, it’s been the most challenging period I’ve had in life and there have been some big ones.  While persistently searching out believers in my network, I’ve been aggressively pursuing careers and been so close on fantastic opportunities in sports or tech in Denver, San Francisco and here in Salt Lake City, only to be passed up on at the finish line.  My closest contacts have seemingly written me off while it’s been impossible to fight off bouts of despair, depression and not feel like a failure.

One of my key strengths is my resiliency, persistence, and aversion to quitting.  I thought the industry would snap up this relatively inexpensive tool but learned that it was going to take completing the marathon to change the game.

Back when we were looking for our 1st major league client after the Utah Jazz (beta customer of ours), I leaned on my former group in the Memphis Grizzlies, who have been notably innovative.  In speaking with Mya Donald, activation lead for the team, I said something along the lines of, “I know this is new and daunting, but this can not only put the Grizzlies on the map as a leader in the space, but do great things for your careers.” The Grizzlies bought in, embraced the tool, and four weeks ago, Mya was on-stage as a finalist at NBA league meetings citing us as a key piece to the team’s peer-nominated Relationship Management Program of the Year.  To add validation, the winners of the award, the Cleveland Cavaliers, known not only for being runner up in the 2016-2017 NBA Finals, but also for a notable Goodyear Jersey Patch Campaign and innovative 365-day activation approach have followed suit as our 5th client in the most innovative of all sports leagues (NBA).

Taking excerpts like these to market, we’ve now established ourselves as an industry-recognized brand with success stories throughout the major and minor leagues, not to mention being in the process of signing our 1st brand and agency clients.   We accomplished our set growth and vesting goals a year ahead of time and have solidified our brand and platform as a force with huge upside from here while maxing out my equity shares in the company.

As we look to solve the sponsorship industry’s communication issues one client at a time, I’ve realized that I have a long ways to go to become a great communicator myself.  I realized that my emails, like everyone’s texts or emails from time to time, can be misinterpreted and come off the wrong way.  Instead of leaving tone, reasoning, and objectives up for interpretation, I insisted on a face-to-face meeting to speak my mind, and after a 2nd fishing trip meeting to close out the summer and further collaborate on ownership stake and employment terms. I’m now about to be in a much more secure place while being in control of day and destiny.

Lessons learned: don’t take rejection to heart.  It only takes one (you).  Even when everyone else loses faith in you, what you believe in and set out to do, you can accomplish anything with determination.  Be mindful, self-reflective and don’t be afraid to ask for constructive feedback, advice or someone else’s time to hear you out.

How to know who won’t leave you on an island.

We live in a social media driven world where our best Friends, Connections, Contacts, Followers and Matches are a click or two away.  Because we’re so accustomed to living the “American Dream,” keeping up with the Joneses, and subjecting ourselves to the rigors that accompany these conquests, we’re content keeping up through surface-level digital footprints and sporadic, quick in-person or phone interactions.  How many times per day do the, “How are things?” – “Good. You?” surface-level, efficiency-driven interactions play out? We think we know what’s going on, but all we just know what people want portrayed out there because we don’t expend the time to go deeper.

Thousands of contacts connected within a few clicks but how do we know who will come through for us when it’s on the line? Who’s willing to take the time and put in the energy themselves to go the extra mile for you when you’re in a time of need – and then actually follow through?

We’re at an ugly crossroads in America. We see it amongst all the political dissension.  We see it as mental health traumas rise. We fight over resources to the point of disassociation with those closest to us. We can’t go deep ourselves, so how could we go deep for others? Are we in it for status or the good of human kind?20170309_133358

Sandwiched in-between two personal quests for ownership after putting it all on the line, I took a trip. Despite better financial judgement, I joined college friends south of the border for the sake of a friend who’s always had the ability to go deeper (Kaveh is pictured right with our chauffeur Carlos).

After some tropical guy’s weekend introspection, I came to some harsh realizations. I’m great at the surface level stuff, but like many guys, I have trouble talking about feelings, needs, concerns, etc. I’m too trusting that if I put it all out there for you, that you will then come through for me. I learned that I try to formulate solutions for everything and in doing so, force things when the square pegs will never fit into the round holes.

With that said, though, I learned that sometimes you need to put people on the spot to realize how much you can count on them. Sometimes, you have to lean on yourself alone.

Paying it forward with no expectations is hard to do but pays big dividends. I recently watched The Kindness Diaries on Netflix, which details one man’s quest to cross the world on a motorcycle with no money relying on the goodheartedness of others.  Despite lots of doubters and strifes along the way, Leon made it and repaid those with pressing needs who helped him out handsomely with something that would help get them across the hump. That begs the question, if strangers with very little can do it, why can’t we?

What can you do to interview and determine who’s trustworthy and will come through for you? What are some strategies you’ve used to dig deep and get results during times of need?