advice – TRUE NORTH TEAM CONSULTING

Taiwan – Hidden Lion & Gem

Taiwan is not what you may think. This place is an incredible infusion of old ways and progressive living, lined with national parks, vibrant night markets and more.

Delta’s flights, which we connected in Seattle with a manageable layover with 3 separate Skyclub visits en route. I was lucky enough to be sitting behind a Michigan grad from Ann Arbor flying to China with his folks and we split the $40 internet fee to watch UM / OU (even though they announced that internet wasn’t available for the flight, this feed came through with regular manual refreshes).

Once we finally figured out our Arrival Cards and how to get out of the airport, we were eager to get to our hotel, the Miramar Gardens Taipei for some rest and adjustment to the 13 hour time difference. Luckily, Uber served Taiwan and we had about an hour ride to get to the Zhongshang District in the heart of the city. We found this to be a very nice, comfortable, convenient choice and cool neighborhood to explore. Highlight was the “Japanese Style” spa (read: had to sign-off on being naked to utilize the hot and cold tubs, steam & sauna rooms, etc. It was a very relaxing and soothing experience. The outdoor pool area with lounges was also very relaxing and appreciated, as was the bidet with all kinds of settings (we got quite used to having these regularly).

Taiwan is known for having a leading amount of convenience stores and the trip to my nearby 7-11 turned out interestingly. We brought a lot of snacks but I wanted to supplement a few meal with finds from there and what I got was not what I expected upon picking. Instead of cheese, I got an egg product another weird protein product that was like tofu, beef gizzards, sparkling wine in a can with bobas (they also invented Boba/Bubble Tea), crab flavored corn nut like and other chip-like things.

Another local staple is beef noodles and I tried it nearby and enjoyed the pho-like dish (although wasn’t willing to wait outside this famous noodle house and found another I could get served quickly). The Liaoning Street Market was a short walk away and fun to walk the streets seeing what the locals were dishing out and feeding folks. Visiting the night markets is a must in Taipei as they’re buzzing with energy and interesting vendor finds. We also checked out Raoshe, which was much bigger and more action-packed. Nextdoor was a fabulous 300 year old temple with a ton of intricate special details in the design.

We opted for a few photos out front and not the ride up what was the world’s tallest building in Taipei 101. Notably, Taipei despite being a top population dense city also felt green and sustainable with lots of parks.

The biggest highlights came via our private Viator custom tour, of which we had the best, most engaging guide in “Nicolas” (after Cage, who along with other Hollywood movie stars taught him his great English)., who left a career in business for the flexibility and change of pace in providing special tours. Despite his Lakers hat (sensitive subject with me historically), Nicolas connected well with both of us – he loved his baseball (following Taiwanese stars especially), the NBA and playing badminton regularly.

He taught us a lot about the culture while taking us to the Houtong “Cat Village”, an old coal mining town turned tourist attraction with community cats and related local ties. He also took us to Yangmingshan National Park, a mountainous volcanic forest with geysers and hot springs that fed right down into the north side of Taipei. One hot spring pool had a small temple to honor the ghosts of residents with no families. Volcano Island appeared off the rocky north shores of the island. We saw a big Formosan Rock (or Taiwanese) Macaque on a fence near the road, several skinks and an egret. For $34, we had an upscale 90 minute private spa soak room with a hot and cold tub piping mineral water.

Taiwan has a number of other national parks including Turtle Island, named after it’s appearance of a partially submerged turtle. It’s temperate semi-tropical climate make it a very comfortable place and its easy to see how why it’s a surging place for expats.

Lions are a key symbol for Taiwan, known for warding off spirits, being brave and courageous and lucky. We had good luck exploring this special place and think you would too.

First Asia Trip: Holistic Reflections

Travel adventures across Southeast Asia: introduction to our journeys.

Not too long ago, I set a goal of visiting a new country yearly and other new places along with it if going abroad isn’t in the cards. When I caught a flash deal via SLC’s newest international direct flight to Seoul for around $700-something, I jumped on it…that is until another flash deal for 36k Skymiles (Delta “Main”) popped up and I made the switch. I can’t even get to Chicago for that, no brainer! The timing was off-peak in September once school and fall slate begins (would prefer summer but I follow the deal!).

I talked to my world traveling friends about potential itineraries and reached out to the family travel agent that helped us with a Viking cruise for tour options and prices. I realized that we had to whittle down our list significantly and that the tours were a whole lot more for an area that I thought was supposed to be more on the affordable side.

We opted to visit countries that Alli, my wife, hadn’t yet and to save the China, Hong Kong, Thailand and Vietnam and opted for southeast Asia. I took the top recommendations and tours and started reverse engineering, looking for as many direct flights as possible, adding tours via Viator, tracking and booking flights and hotels in centralized, accessible areas via Expedia (which had the highest Rakuten rebate %). We did choose to keep one tour that had a lot of components in Borneo, having to pre-pay to hold it as spots and date availability was limited and we planned around that in the middle of the two book-end flights. Doing so allowed savings of ~50% from the tour packages.

I’m going to reflect on each stop separately, but what resulted was an amazing trek of adventures prioritizing visiting exotic animals in their mostly native locales while still possible. It was designed to be a combination of cities, cultures, tours and downtime for personal activity choices.

We purposely didn’t try to come off as Americans, yet didn’t hide it when it came up in conversation and had a lot to dispel in a tense global political situation to say the least. In fact, there was a shooting involving a political zealot in Utah while we were there, which put us on the map in the wrong way. Hard to ignore the flare-ups happening despite our wishes of international immersion…

Not surprisingly, we ran into a ton of Brits as we visited many former British colonies. They always seems have a nearly unlimited amount of “holiday” time for vacations and a dry sense of humor about things. Often, there was just enough English and signs able to be picked up to get around and some accents were tough to work with.

All-in-all, it turned out to be 10 flights, 4 separate islands, 1 peninsula and ~ 3 days between places. The airports were cleaner, more efficient and effective to navigate through. Each new country required an Arrival Card submitted beforehand in place of needing visas. Weight more often than number of bags was the limitation (usually ~25 kilos per international flight). Once for a domestic flight we had to pay for more baggage. We tightly rolled and bagged clothes and should have opted for doing laundry vs. bringing enough to last as we had some bags breaking down and it always took awhile to re-pack.

It helped to convert cash into native currencies at my bank before going. We found that bigger businesses took credit cards but “mom and pops” shops were cash only. This happens to be the low point for the $ in a long time, but most places were still affordable at ranges.

Unforgettable memories resulted from a trip of a lifetime celebrating an anniversary and birthdays – stay tuned for the individual location breakdowns!

The Next Life Chapter: No Pain No Game

Shutting a door with a bang and opening a new one going into 40.

I was embarking on a monumental life chapter on paper. A confluence of factors had me push myself on my New Year’s Resolution going into my turn going “over the hill.” I set out to step up and make it a transformative turn and it sure proved itself as the most difficult, challenging stretch of my life.

Immediately after the Cuba trip in mid-June, I tore the achilles lunging playing pickleball for the first time. It felt like a weight dropped on the back of my leg and I immediately felt a pop, yelled and looked around for someone that kicked me. I’m lucky it didn’t happen before the trip as it well could’ve. Sad moment for a proud athlete who prides himself in skiing 50+ days a year and never getting a real injury to date.

After limping around doing yard work hoping it was maybe a high ankle sprain, icing and sleeping on it hoping the issue would subside, I was proven wrong: this turns into a key metaphor for life and the moment. I woke up, the swelling moved down my league and bruising of the “cankle” was significant. A little Googling had me worried for the worst – a torn achilles. Urgent care got me a quick MRI that I ultimately didn’t need, but it showed a clear rupture. Because I got in early to my doctor, I got the option to not do surgery and just do physical therapy. Doing the research (re-injury rate is 3x less via surgery ) and my father-in-law felt like his ankle came back stronger after surgery and I flipped.

A friend recommended the new “speed bridge” surgery that Aaron Rodgers famously came back from, but that wasn’t readily available locally. I (half) jokingly had my screened and validated OSU grad doctor mark the correct leg to operate on to avoid the accidental procedure on the wrong leg. Luckily the surgery went well, I was wheeled home and fighting the pains trying to minimize the opioids for recovery as much as possible. In short, I’m very thankful for all the help from my father in law Peter, who pushed me to stay on regiment to the exact rep, not put weight on it and helped with chores. I can thank U of Utah’s Dr. Dave Carter (PhD. in achilles recovery), who Peter swore by, Peter and my wife for the support. I hit a flooring low point hope-wise early on knowing my summer and fall were shot, but I was focused on skiing come winter and I sucked it up, worked hard on my PT, hit the weight room hard to build the strength (and then some) and somehow in just under 6 months, worked my way back on the mountain and wrapped up a ski season skiing 54 days and nearly 800k vertical feet. To date, it’s no Rodgers story of non-field heroics, but I’ve just passed a year since surgery (about the date you can said to be recovered) and I’ve had no setbacks aside from sporting a purple, scarred bulge and the humbling life moment escapade that came with it.

A lot of mental work also brought me to forcing myself to step up, realize my needs and what I believe in and take a stand instead of quietly taking the easy way out. Just like hobbling on a leg I knew in my gut was shot and possibly extending the damage and thinking I could “sleep it off,” I had a tendency to internalize. What do I believe in? What breaks the code?

I needed to learn a key lesson when it comes to self-actualization and speak up for what and whom I believe in. Over the course of the year, I transparently called out my closest friends, family and coworkers. I stated my piece instead of allowing the status quo or playing both sides and it led to a ton of pain, heartache and feeling alone with a number of my closest relationships feeling very much in limbo.

I forced myself to start instituting and enforcing boundaries. I’ve realized that you can only control yourself and that people won’t change unless they are open to it. This is a work in progress. The truth is that many of those relationships will never be the same, people come and go and show their true colors. ‘Tis life – stay true.

The world has drastically changed dramatically politically, economically and socially. Many are feeling hopeless and forgotten and it’s easy to get sucked into deep despair following the news: I sure did. It’s ok to not be ok, just know what outlets are available.

While/when it may seem hopeless on a macro scale, it’s okay to tune out and focus on the micro. I just read “Go-Giver” and “Infinite Game” in my summer hammock. I’m a firm believer that karma is real, providing “glimmer” moments – small periods of joy and striving to find ways to give back can help lift spirits. Those can include dropping messages of goodwill, making random people laugh, compliments, gifts, giving time or feedback (transparent) pay dividends in “life purpose equity.”

Give and live! Take stock in what you have with gratitude and not the social comparisons – what a decade and chapter. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

You may feel ripped to shreds and alone in the world, but work the process and come out of it a new person; epic comeback story in the making.

Global Reckoning Period – Adapt or Die II

It’s like a bad sequel. Groundhog Day: Return of Ned Flanderson (sans Bill Murray).

Just when you thought we were turning the corner to stop the gore and the killer had disappeared, we stumble, trip and allow for the villain to catch back up.

We have now entered into the eye of the storm. It’s quiet. Too quiet. And peaceful. But just you wait.

Experts and past leaders knew a pandemic was well within the cards. Luckily, we were prepped for past threats in SARS and Ebola. When the world watched China and Europe get decimation, we hesitated, thumbed our nose and got crushed.

Instead of a World War II-like rallying behind our leaders and mission, our Fake News fragmentation and direction for states to figure it out independently kicked in.

Sadly, the fact that it’s a crucial election year and prospects of a depression took precedence over public health and getting mass testing and herd immunity to where it needs to be.

“Liberation” of our freedoms, opening up non-essential businesses and protesting from close distance is the obvious death trap. Just ask John from Ohio. Oh wait…

No, we won’t save ourselves from UV light or drinking bleach. Please don’t try it (although do go outside – sunshine helps your mental psyche, although it won’t defend much against viruses).

The U.S. (and much of the world similarly) has now far eclipsed the quickest unemployment rate drop. Time and decisions made by all of us will tell whether we eclipse the peak rate of 24.9% during the Great Depression. Hopefully those affected will learn valuable new skills and trades in the meantime while growing relationships at home to evolve and come out of this stronger.

The economy is vital to us all, but we have to trust the scientific experts and the math (see Domo’s live trend visuals). A few weeks of apprehensive business openings isn’t going to be worth the collateral damage we face by being premature and negligent.

Chances are, many more of us have had it than we know. We need mass testing and antibody testing to tell us that as and we still don’t understand what level of exposure (if possible at all) we need to have had to mitigate the threat of a second mutated bout.

We’re working feverishly to enable a vaccine but best case scenario to get one is by almost all accounts is a year from now – around April 2021. Then it has to be mass distributed to the public.

Life as we knew it in terms of going to the flights, concerts, games, bars and restaurants we so loved won’t be the same. We’ll have to adapt to the new normal, even after the vaccine.

We are seeing heroes and valiant, selfless acts happen all around us. It’s the medical, grocery, delivery workers and average Joes going to get groceries for their elderly neighbors that are making the difference and deserve to benefit when the dust settles.

If we’ve learned anything through this, it’s the danger of not educating and equipping the poor and ignorant. If we don’t give everyone access to accurate information, health care and the means to work and live, everything else is threatened. Billionaire Mark Cuban (story of past encounters with him to come) has been a voice of reason for the people, making a public play for trickle-up vs. trickle-down economics.

Maybe we will swallow our pride and step up together when it counts.

Regardless, the shark will be stalking the shores and connected rivers beneath the surface.

Global Reckoning Period – Adapt or Die

Speaking of stalled aspirational progress, as we are all now acutely aware of, the global economy hit a screeching halt by way of a COVID-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic.

Ramifications and the related coverable topics are endless.

A globalized reckoning, which was anticipated to happen at some point by the experts, caught us all on our heels and we couldn’t react quickly enough to put it to bed before massive loss of lives and economic progress resulted.

What are we learning in the process?

Leadership and the ability to listen, emphasize and unite matters more than ever – without it, everything can unfold.
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. The true heroes pulling us out of this mess are the service workers on the front-lines putting lives on the line to save their brethren (nurses, doctors, EMTs, social services, teachers, grocery store and “essential business” workers). These folks deserve every accolade, perk and quality of live improvement possible.
Globalization Revisited – it doesn’t matter if your GDP is greatest in the world if you can’t stock or make the basics to save your people (ie. PPE’s like aprons, masks, gloves, etc.)
We need to focus on the industries, tactics, practices and strategies proven to sustainably benefit the masses. Sometimes it’s time to stick in that fork and move on vs. continuing the life support.

Personally and professionally, we are all at a crossroads. Adapt or die (figuratively and literally so, sadly).

It’s a group exercise, too. One outlier can derail the recovery progress for the masses. We are all ready for the economy to return to normal – your non-distanced protests only hurt our chances to get there.

How we prepare today will impact tomorrow. It is well worth the extra few weeks of staying at home to not set ourselves back months more.

If all you have to give is goodwill and positive thoughts, pay it forward, spread it (especially while staying at home!) and the returns will multiply and help get us all back on our feet.

Closing Out 2017 with a Blockchain Bang.

2017 will go down big in the record books.

On the personal side, I took the plunge to get engaged we just closed and moved into our 1st home, a life-changing ordeal in itself. I also personally learned that a country doing everything it can to self-destruct that’s $20 trillion in debt sorely needs software to help the drastically under-equipped IRS manage operational claims to chip away at (separate post in itself).

Sponsorship Buddy is rebranding within the next few weeks to encapsulate the force it has become, now directly optimizing workflows for thousands in the brand, agency and rights holder/property space (recently including the San Francisco Giants, who I could’ve garnered multiple rings based on a different life choice made (another post of its own). With a valuation now in the 9 figure range, one could ask how I could entertain usage of my full-time hours going to something else?

The answer? The blockchain.

I also passed up an equitable opportunity with a software behemoth fast approaching IPO and an executive spot with the most elite membership and concierge program in the world involving curation of the most customized VIP global personalized experiences.

After a few weeks spent volunteering, negotiating and absorbing, I signed on to become the #2, C.O.O. & Head of Fundraising for what we believe could be the most compliant blockchain solution in the exploding ICO market. By the way, ICOs (initial coin offerings) have overtaken traditional venture capital funding means and skyrocketed to over $5 billion in funds raised for 2017.

Everyone’s now heard of Bitcoin (the Amazon of the cryptocurrency world), but most don’t understand it or the blockchain. This distributed ledger system promises to change the world by decentralizing everything, from global monetary policies to how transactions are recorded.

There are innumerable roadblocks in the way before that happens, however. Many early ICOs were launched by the likes of 19-year-old Ukrainians arming a cartel without as much as a business or legal backing. While due diligence, transparency and sound legal business principles are on the rise, there is an impending fear of the unknown, especially the SEC coming down to ban and punish those deemed outside of the legal limits. A day of reckoning is in order in today’s new age Wild West.

At OMINEX, sister-company CrowdEngine has the SEC & FINRA compliance nailed. OMINEX plans to offer a wallet to manage such security and other crypto tokens and provide the portal to launch the buttoned-up ICO, funding your dream, world-changing blockchain project.

But first, we need believers to take a chance with us and invest in the most compliant fundraising solution seen to date (while benefitting with us along the way). We could use great Advisors, referral partners and investors to help us build out the vision before we can draft the team.

It’s been quite the heroic comeback story, 2017 vs. 2016 that is.

Who’s ready to take the world by storm in compliant fashion!? Blockchain and ICOs are possibly the most world-changing phenomenon we’ve seen, can you afford to miss the boat (more about ICOs as the new gold rush – biggest wealth transfer in human history)?

Happy New Year 2018!

Lessons in Rejection

The Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Red Wings, Baltimore Orioles, Sporting Kansas City, Indiana Pacers, New Orleans Saints & Pelicans (among others pictured above): what do these represent? All, the latest and greatest clients of Sponsorship Buddy Inc. I, as the lead hunter, should be out celebrating in the streets to land these huge, globally embraced and recognized team brands as clients of our disruptive new platform, right? Not so fast, my friend.

Early entrepreneurial life is not glamorous (nor is the sports industry). Over the past 20 months, I’ve had to learn all kinds of new skills, competencies, and levels of resiliency and discipline. I set out with a goal of transforming the sponsorship industry in much-needed fashion for the better to help create more transparency, streamlined communications, a better client experience and improvements in quality of life. In doing so, I hoped to make my mark as an innovator, disruptor, and difference-maker and put it all on the line to do so (personal life, relationships, financial stability).

Full disclosure, it’s been the most challenging period I’ve had in life and there have been some big ones. While persistently searching out believers in my network, I’ve been aggressively pursuing careers and been so close on fantastic opportunities in sports or tech in Denver, San Francisco and here in Salt Lake City, only to be passed up on at the finish line. My closest contacts have seemingly written me off while it’s been impossible to fight off bouts of despair, depression and not feel like a failure.

One of my key strengths is my resiliency, persistence, and aversion to quitting. I thought the industry would snap up this relatively inexpensive tool but learned that it was going to take completing the marathon to change the game.

Back when we were looking for our 1st major league client after the Utah Jazz (beta customer of ours), I leaned on my former group in the Memphis Grizzlies, who have been notably innovative. In speaking with Mya Donald, activation lead for the team, I said something along the lines of, “I know this is new and daunting, but this can not only put the Grizzlies on the map as a leader in the space, but do great things for your careers.” The Grizzlies bought in, embraced the tool, and four weeks ago, Mya was on-stage as a finalist at NBA league meetings citing us as a key piece to the team’s peer-nominated Relationship Management Program of the Year. To add validation, the winners of the award, the Cleveland Cavaliers, known not only for being runner up in the 2016-2017 NBA Finals, but also for a notable Goodyear Jersey Patch Campaign and innovative 365-day activation approach have followed suit as our 5th client in the most innovative of all sports leagues (NBA).

Taking excerpts like these to market, we’ve now established ourselves as an industry-recognized brand with success stories throughout the major and minor leagues, not to mention being in the process of signing our 1st brand and agency clients. We accomplished our set growth and vesting goals a year ahead of time and have solidified our brand and platform as a force with huge upside from here while maxing out my equity shares in the company.

As we look to solve the sponsorship industry’s communication issues one client at a time, I’ve realized that I have a long ways to go to become a great communicator myself. I realized that my emails, like everyone’s texts or emails from time to time, can be misinterpreted and come off the wrong way. Instead of leaving tone, reasoning, and objectives up for interpretation, I insisted on a face-to-face meeting to speak my mind, and after a 2nd fishing trip meeting to close out the summer and further collaborate on ownership stake and employment terms. I’m now about to be in a much more secure place while being in control of day and destiny.

Lessons learned: don’t take rejection to heart. It only takes one (you). Even when everyone else loses faith in you, what you believe in and set out to do, you can accomplish anything with determination. Be mindful, self-reflective and don’t be afraid to ask for constructive feedback, advice or someone else’s time to hear you out.

Surviving on an Entrepreneurial Wild West Island.

After weeks of back-and-forth months after my consulting deal was up, we were at a crossroads of a) parting ways with only the entrepreneurial experience to show for it for b) forging a partnership, potentially lifelong. Both sides have nearly walked away at different times and everyone knew it was decision time, this was make or break and the call was going to be tense. That “Castaway” feeling of I’m alone, trying to scratch and claw my way to survival, hoping someone will venture into the vicinity and throw me a life raft can feel very real.

Doubts can be constant. Today’s social media age make peer comparisons dangerous. Why am I at point X when I’ve invested this much into myself whereas my former cohort John or Jane Doe is at point Y? Trust in others and myself with belief in the ability to turn up calculated returns is something I’ve banked on for years. But sometimes it feels like being stuck in the ocean trying to fight the current of a riptide, not going anywhere and expending energy reserves quickly.

Egocentrism is the inability to understand any perspective but one’s own. In this country, never has this come more into question than today’s political and social environment. Why should I think about someone over there when my own quality of life is in question? What happens when those relationships you’ve invested in and trusted would work out instead turn out quiet or egocentric? You’re left to your own story and ingenuity, losing hope with line after line being cast out only to be brought back with nets empty.

Despite better reason and needs to meet, we made the trip to Arizona for a wedding at a lavish venue, the JW Marriott of Tuscon pictured below. Sacrifices were made to get there – a bag of sandwiches made to avoid having to stop for food, not staying at the host resort and instead choosing a Marriott nearby. Bootstrapped startup life personalized.

JW Marriott Tuscon wedding photo — Alli & I before the wedding @JW Marriott Tuscon

After catching up with the Joneses, and being there to celebrate the big commitment day for the newlyweds, we took a day trip to the famous wild west town of Tombstone. Despite all the Hollywood takes, never was story given due justice authentically. The Boothill Graveyard was filled with stories of men that met their fates through every means from defending their honor in gunfights at the OK Corral to getting poisoned and everything in between and their stones were stolen over time by gravestone robbers looking to get their hands on valuable relics. This made me think, how does one avoid the fate of George Johnson pictured below, who was hanged by mistake? “He was right, he was wrong, but we strung him up and now he’s gone.”

In a brutal town where the odds are stacked against you like Tombstone, George may have been on to something in life. Maybe he was looking like one of the few who’s investment was going to pay off in a big way. However, his story was lost and he became known instead for his curious cause of death. George hadn’t secured himself to avoid the traps laid down all around him and succumbed to a noteworthy fate.

On the scenic way back in Navajo country (another example of a people pushed aside), we stopped at the picturesque Horseshoe Bend in the Glen Canyon area of northern Arizona (featured above). I looked out and felt like I was stuck on that rock island pushed out further and further by the sands of time, with a storm coming nonetheless.

Months after the fact and despite undue strife, my partners came through for me on my concessions and I officially tied the ownership knot. Lessons learned include not making assumptions and instead communicating better and building and executing sound social and business contracts. Don’t be afraid to be real and speak to feelings and emotions as it leads to more authentic connections. I went from fighting the riptides to grabbing a line out and back to the island. Now, it’s a matter of navigating around the hangman’s noose and traps while continuing to better equip and target those lines cast with the hope of netting that meaningful storybook foundation off the island.

Ever feel that way?

How to know who won’t leave you on an island.

We live in a social media driven world where our best Friends, Connections, Contacts, Followers and Matches are a click or two away. Because we’re so accustomed to living the “American Dream,” keeping up with the Joneses, and subjecting ourselves to the rigors that accompany these conquests, we’re content keeping up through surface-level digital footprints and sporadic, quick in-person or phone interactions. How many times per day do the, “How are things?” – “Good. You?” surface-level, efficiency-driven interactions play out? We think we know what’s going on, but all we just know what people want portrayed out there because we don’t expend the time to go deeper.

Thousands of contacts connected within a few clicks but how do we know who will come through for us when it’s on the line? Who’s willing to take the time and put in the energy themselves to go the extra mile for you when you’re in a time of need – and then actually follow through?

We’re at an ugly crossroads in America. We see it amongst all the political dissension. We see it as mental health traumas rise. We fight over resources to the point of disassociation with those closest to us. We can’t go deep ourselves, so how could we go deep for others? Are we in it for status or the good of human kind?

Sandwiched in-between two personal quests for ownership after putting it all on the line, I took a trip. Despite better financial judgement, I joined college friends south of the border for the sake of a friend who’s always had the ability to go deeper (Kaveh is pictured right with our chauffeur Carlos).

After some tropical guy’s weekend introspection, I came to some harsh realizations. I’m great at the surface level stuff, but like many guys, I have trouble talking about feelings, needs, concerns, etc. I’m too trusting that if I put it all out there for you, that you will then come through for me. I learned that I try to formulate solutions for everything and in doing so, force things when the square pegs will never fit into the round holes.

With that said, though, I learned that sometimes you need to put people on the spot to realize how much you can count on them. Sometimes, you have to lean on yourself alone.

Paying it forward with no expectations is hard to do but pays big dividends. I recently watched The Kindness Diaries on Netflix, which details one man’s quest to cross the world on a motorcycle with no money relying on the goodheartedness of others. Despite lots of doubters and strifes along the way, Leon made it and repaid those with pressing needs who helped him out handsomely with something that would help get them across the hump. That begs the question, if strangers with very little can do it, why can’t we?

What can you do to interview and determine who’s trustworthy and will come through for you? What are some strategies you’ve used to dig deep and get results during times of need?

“Ducks Fly Together:” #MotivationMonday Lessons in Confidence

Believing in who you are is key!

I recently queued up D2: The Mighty Ducks. Regardless of whether you played or liked hockey, my generation beloved the Mighty Ducks movies as kids. In a tumultuous time like this one, consensus towards the greater good is seemingly impossible. We can learn a lot by looking back on the once lovable loser Minnesotan kids, who banded together with others of all shapes, colors and sizes from different corners of the U.S. to defeat the bullies of Iceland in the Junior Goodwill Games finals after Coach Bombay centered himself as a leader. It wouldn’t have happened without believing in the power of instilled confidence.

Personally, I grew up in an achievement-oriented household where I was encouraged to participate (and well) in all kinds of activities. Some I didn’t like ie. choir and piano. Others I loved ie. sports – I played four competitively into high school, usually among the top performers on my teams. Hockey would’ve been one had I moved back to Minnesota sooner (my friends were deep into travel hockey by 4th grade).

My folks went to top universities and academics always came 1st – getting into a great school was priority #1 and I had only a decent handful of B’s into high school. I had an outgoing personality and friend groups beyond just the “popular” group. Despite all the accolades and activity time, I often felt alone and a failure – especially in high school. If it weren’t for my parents always having my back though, where would I be?

Granted, some of this might be the result of a competitive, achievement-oriented culture. Sure, there were plenty of good teachers who pushed and encouraged. Coaches on the other hand, not so much. The dads were more often than not solid, albeit biased towards their kids (as mine was). Winning was common and the times were loose and fun. It was into high school that the paradigm shifted. If you didn’t dedicate yourself to the “system” of that specific sport and all the workouts and family politics year-round, then you were missing out regardless of talents demonstrated. Lesser “system” athletes focused on 1 sport and were anointed “golden boy” status over others successfully competed for their school in multiple competitive sports.

One would think that high school coaches (and teachers) are there because they care about giving back and developing life achievers. Egregiously, as far as many were concerned, it was all about their ego and attitude coming from doing it the same way for awhile, their image or winning at small fill-in-the-blank hamlet town. “I could care less about what you’ve done or who you are, it’s my way or the highway.” Small-minded small-ball!

I remember going into horrific shooting or hitting slumps. I would go home, shovel off the snowy driveway and night and shoot until I couldn’t see or get my dad to pitch until he couldn’t throw. It didn’t matter though as next to ZERO encouragement or support was offered from coaches. How are you going to succeed when you’ve got it stuck in your head that if you miss ONE shot, you’re back on the bench?

I went to Duke basketball camp two years in a row around national championships and learned from the best and a master motivator in Coach K. Despite Duke being the model for our “system,” I ended up losing out on the last varsity roster spot to the handicapped “system” guy. I walked off after not even logging a play in the game for my last playoff baseball game after starting every career game. Can you get any more of a slap in the face?

The teenage years are the most volatile and when you’re offered nothing but negativity from those that are supposed to lift you, how can you succeed?

Fast forward to college. I was DONE with high school and the work paid off as I got into every school I applied – except getting waitlisted at the one I thought I was meant for (of which my dad attended). Gone went the nurturing offered by the home-front and in came freedom and autonomy of quasi-adult life. College offered the ability for anyone to re-invent oneself.

The times were exciting but the bar was set for failure – proven achievers used to near 4.0’s like myself now found themselves in the “C” range, barely scraping by. I remember taking a physics class of which I had no business being in having not taken calc and getting something in the neighborhood of an 8 out of 60 on an exam despite serious studying! My GPA after the 1st semester was near suspension level. I found out about the verb “South Foresting,” from the parking garage famous for university suicide, the ultimate failure feeling put into action.

I pushed it to the limit, developing association with the “leaders and best” among the “Leaders & Best,” in the Mud Bowl and Greek scene and our acclaimed football program, and lots of time not only on the beer pong table, but in the and classroom and library. I started to find myself while I kicked it into gear and started competing toe-to-toe in everything on campus and internally started to realize was that I could hold my own (despite the top-notch acumen of the competition). Confidence brimmed internally and externally and peaked – I was on T.V. on the sidelines, and in the “alpha” social, competitive limelight otherwise. I had not only survived, but thrived in many senses and graduated with a double major.

Pro

The door into the sports industry is revenue generation and all of a sudden, re-invention had to happen again. A 99% rejection outcome became the norm and the hurdles were steep in Inside Sales – the “chop shop” of weeding people out. I buckled in, outworked and out-performed my peers after some trying, tough times in a faraway, disaster-ravaged market of which I knew 1 person. I quickly learned what having no culture and a boss departed for punching someone in front of his employees to understanding what a thriving, motivating, positive team-oriented culture felt like.

Fast forward ten years and two grad degrees of which I pushed myself to the limit further, It’s taken many sacrifices, disappointments and failures. Every B-school will pound in how and stress the importance of leadership and “culture” in the workplace. Interviews for those impossibly in-demand positions too often yield comes with a boxed, burnt out “work hard play hard” answer when asked about culture. Failure to read the warning signs equated a horrific toxic work environment of which I was thrown in and left for dead, getting picked at by the buzzards daily, where the standard of excellence was driven by egotism and narcissism over any sense of new ideas, morality or ethics. Put up, shut up and fall in line the sake of the deal.

I’ve now learned the hard way and realized what Michael Thompson learned over 38 years – confidence isn’t about self-promotion, it’s about listening, and feeling comfortable applying and promoting others’ winning strategies to build their trust.

In D2, Gordon Bombay went “Hollywood” and got too caught up in the glam and the image, forgetting who he was and what he had learned along the way. Before it was too late, he traded the suit for the Ducks jacket and got back to where it began. He encouraged his kids to do what they did best, believing in each in the highest pressure situations despite dirty play and tactic traps laid by the opponent. In the end, the team banded together and won it all for the good-ole U-S-of-A thanks to being confident in who they were and what they could do.

Life isn’t a Disney movie or a sport, but the message is one we can all learn from. Believe in those around you and express encouragement – we can all benefit in the end so much more than maintainging a fixation on our own self-serving agendas.

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