Tag: health

New Book + Appointing Your Alter Ego for Life’s Challenges

Times are tough. Cue your Alter Ego to help you battle through life’s challenges!

Sometimes it just feels like life is headed to hell in handbasket.

I recently published my first book to help others like me chart a course to purpose, if they could use guidance redirecting without instilling radical change (check it out if you haven’t yet!).

Finding Your True North: A Calm Path to Purpose Without Burning Your Life Down. Designed to help people find purpose with built-in exercises.

It’s okay to not be okay. Recently, for me it’s all felt like it’s coming to a head. Personally and holistically it’s been one thing after the next. Externally, it feels like the rails are off and the train is speeding down the tracks to inevitable peril…

“Jolts” involving A.I. disruption, job losses, the Iran war, consumer goods prices, health, policies, debts, extreme weather, etc. are a few hot buttons that feel like they are forcing radical change. I would venture to guess that I am not alone feeling this way.

It’s almost like we haven’t had a “normal” year without daily shocks since 2019 pre-pandemic.

People need to develop coping mechanisms to help them get through life’s challenges. I’ve personally found helpful include: meditation / deep breathing, relaxing in the sauna or hot tub, experiencing nature, exploring somewhere new, exercise, blocking out the news and social media, focusing on projects and hobbies, therapy, journaling, gardening, talking with people (especially spending time in person), playing with kids and pets, escapism via sports, music, podcasts, shows or movies.

Immersion into reading is another favorite ticket away. I picked up The Alter Ego Effect and wanted to recommend it to you.

The author Todd Herman, trained by top mental health coaches and mentors, helps his clientele channel their most resonating character to transform into when duty calls. By going to a totem or artifact to flip on the switch, cueing your alter ego, you can take on the world and come out of it heroically.

Simple example, Sam grew up feeling underestimated on his smarts often breezed over in conversations, work, etc. He’s noticed in movies that those with glasses are often thought of us wise and respected for focus and intelligence. Even though his vision is perfect, Sam throws on his totem/artifact fake lenses to cue the “Professor,” and his mentality and then results change. He’s getting the respect and attention that he’s always yearned for and he feels like he has a new lease on life.

Whatever that symbolism equates to for you, it has to mean something special, motivating and compelling. Think superheroes, a specific animal or truly anything that innately sticks out as transformative difference-maker in your mind. You can keep it a secret too – don’t feel like you need to let others in on your alter ego.

There is a lot we cannot control in life. Normally we would choose to go into character for those traditional “moments of impact” – the big meeting, game, speech or challenge.

If those normal coping activities aren’t getting it done for you when anxious feelings pop up outside of your typical “moments of impact,” maybe it’s time to beam the Bat Signal!?

I would love to hear your takes!

The Next Life Chapter: No Pain No Game

Shutting a door with a bang and opening a new one going into 40.

I was embarking on a monumental life chapter on paper. A confluence of factors had me push myself on my New Year’s Resolution going into my turn going “over the hill.” I set out to step up and make it a transformative turn and it sure proved itself as the most difficult, challenging stretch of my life.

Immediately after the Cuba trip in mid-June, I tore the achilles lunging playing pickleball for the first time. It felt like a weight dropped on the back of my leg and I immediately felt a pop, yelled and looked around for someone that kicked me. I’m lucky it didn’t happen before the trip as it well could’ve. Sad moment for a proud athlete who prides himself in skiing 50+ days a year and never getting a real injury to date.

After limping around doing yard work hoping it was maybe a high ankle sprain, icing and sleeping on it hoping the issue would subside, I was proven wrong: this turns into a key metaphor for life and the moment. I woke up, the swelling moved down my league and bruising of the “cankle” was significant. A little Googling had me worried for the worst – a torn achilles. Urgent care got me a quick MRI that I ultimately didn’t need, but it showed a clear rupture. Because I got in early to my doctor, I got the option to not do surgery and just do physical therapy. Doing the research (re-injury rate is 3x less via surgery ) and my father-in-law felt like his ankle came back stronger after surgery and I flipped.

A friend recommended the new “speed bridge” surgery that Aaron Rodgers famously came back from, but that wasn’t readily available locally. I (half) jokingly had my screened and validated OSU grad doctor mark the correct leg to operate on to avoid the accidental procedure on the wrong leg. Luckily the surgery went well, I was wheeled home and fighting the pains trying to minimize the opioids for recovery as much as possible. In short, I’m very thankful for all the help from my father in law Peter, who pushed me to stay on regiment to the exact rep, not put weight on it and helped with chores. I can thank U of Utah’s Dr. Dave Carter (PhD. in achilles recovery), who Peter swore by, Peter and my wife for the support. I hit a flooring low point hope-wise early on knowing my summer and fall were shot, but I was focused on skiing come winter and I sucked it up, worked hard on my PT, hit the weight room hard to build the strength (and then some) and somehow in just under 6 months, worked my way back on the mountain and wrapped up a ski season skiing 54 days and nearly 800k vertical feet. To date, it’s no Rodgers story of non-field heroics, but I’ve just passed a year since surgery (about the date you can said to be recovered) and I’ve had no setbacks aside from sporting a purple, scarred bulge and the humbling life moment escapade that came with it.

A lot of mental work also brought me to forcing myself to step up, realize my needs and what I believe in and take a stand instead of quietly taking the easy way out. Just like hobbling on a leg I knew in my gut was shot and possibly extending the damage and thinking I could “sleep it off,” I had a tendency to internalize. What do I believe in? What breaks the code?

I needed to learn a key lesson when it comes to self-actualization and speak up for what and whom I believe in. Over the course of the year, I transparently called out my closest friends, family and coworkers. I stated my piece instead of allowing the status quo or playing both sides and it led to a ton of pain, heartache and feeling alone with a number of my closest relationships feeling very much in limbo.

I forced myself to start instituting and enforcing boundaries. I’ve realized that you can only control yourself and that people won’t change unless they are open to it. This is a work in progress. The truth is that many of those relationships will never be the same, people come and go and show their true colors. ‘Tis life – stay true.

The world has drastically changed dramatically politically, economically and socially. Many are feeling hopeless and forgotten and it’s easy to get sucked into deep despair following the news: I sure did. It’s ok to not be ok, just know what outlets are available.

While/when it may seem hopeless on a macro scale, it’s okay to tune out and focus on the micro. I just read “Go-Giver” and “Infinite Game” in my summer hammock. I’m a firm believer that karma is real, providing “glimmer” moments – small periods of joy and striving to find ways to give back can help lift spirits. Those can include dropping messages of goodwill, making random people laugh, compliments, gifts, giving time or feedback (transparent) pay dividends in “life purpose equity.”

Give and live! Take stock in what you have with gratitude and not the social comparisons – what a decade and chapter. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

You may feel ripped to shreds and alone in the world, but work the process and come out of it a new person; epic comeback story in the making.